Cake's on Crack: Shit Happens
by Drop The Act. Put On A Smile
Summary: Basically a more mature version of my Cake is Better Burned series. If you want a what-the-fuckery type of thing, well this is it. There is absolutely NO seriousness of any kind in my CoC series, heh, if you want something like that, probably not a good idea to read anything by me. Oh well, time for the summary: Ice cream, at its finest. Nah, ice cream can be a total dick actually.


**Wow, the emotions that were captured in this story is absolu... yeah, that's bullshit, there's nothing here actually, nothing but pure idiocy. Or is that normal with Cake? Eh whatever, here you go, the craziest and stupidest idea that's ever came from my mind! CoC!**

**Or for the more intelligent, Cake's on Crack:**

"Oh God! What is that!" A tan stallion screamed, a giant wad of icecream rolling its way towards him.

"I AM THE MIGHTY VANILLA! FEAR ME!" It roared back, showing its globby mouth.

"I DON'T LIKE VANILLA!" He screams out, tears rolling down his face as he sprints for his young life.

This was NOT how he expected his day to go.

"LOVE ME!" It shouts, rolling even closer to him.

"I THOUGHT YOU WANTED ME TO FEAR YOU! MAKE UP YOUR MIND!" He screams.

He was utterly confused, the ice cream monster moved directly behind him, yet didn't go any slower or gain any speed.

Hell, the two were running through the Everfree, so I guess it seems legit. Passing tree by tree by tree, the giant ball of vanilla flavored ice cream absorbed all of the pines from them, causing it to grow in size by the thousand.

How this makes any sense, I have no idea.

"WHY ME?!" Cake yelled to the heavens, only to hear a clash of thunder causing him to jump as he ran. Not a good idea, he forgot he was running at such a high speed, that when he landed, he flew forward and started rolling. And NOW the ice cream monster caught up to Cake.

"Mmmmmmbitch!" The ice cream ball said, quieter than the before yelling as it absorbs Cake when it runs him over.

"I ONLY WANTED ICECREAM FOR MY MAREFRIEND! YA DICK!" Cake cried out, totally ignored by the still rolling ice cream ball.

-Ten minutes prior-

"Caaaaaaaakeeee-poo... I want ice cream! Go get me ice cream!" A white unicorn yelled, her electric blue mane matted against her fur.

Cake just groaned, this would be, what, the 15th jar of ice cream she wanted?

She noticed he was ignoring her so she pulled off her glasses, and did the one thing no man can possible ignore.

She gave him the 'do-it-or-you're-fucking-dead' look.

"Vinyl, I love you. But don't you think you've had enough?" Cake said, raising his hooves in defense. He flinched as he felt the glare grow by intensity. Ok, you know what. It wasn't even a glare any more, it was just killer intent.

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME FAT?!" Vinyl yelled, chucking the last ice cream jar at him.

Sad thing was? It was still full of ice cream... she just got sick of pecan...

"GAH!" Cake yells, feeling the blow of an angry mare and a filled ice cream jar to the face.

"I'm not calling you fat! You just eat to much!" Cake said, cowering lightly.

Boy, did the unlucky bastard ever regret speaking.

Vinyl's eyes flashed a neon blood red, emanating an aura of Hell and death. Cake, seeing this, paled immensely. "Um... Vinyl?"

"YOUSONOFABITCHASSFUCKINGSONOFACUNTGOGRABMEICECREAM!" She all but screamed, shattering the windows to the house, and possibly Cake's ears.

Some-fucking-how, Vinyl lifted up the couch with her bare-hooves, looked at Cake with a look that meant sure death and with a final word, hit him clear out of the house.

"NOW!"

-Five minutes prior to ice cream ball-

"Crazy woman... going to kill me one of these days... can't I get a normal marefriend..." Cake mumbled to himself, pooling together multiple ice cream jars, all of different flavors...

But vanilla.

He then bought it all, and left the store, his bit bag considerably smaller. He looked up, towards the Everfree, and gave a sigh of annoyance.

The fuck, the dude lives all the way on the other side of that, so why not. It's a short cut.

He started walking through, passing trees, fallen branches, a bleeding Angel Bunny, a psychotic version of Fluttershy shoving a carrot up Angel's tiny rabbit ass, a pool of water, a giant forming mass of vanilla ice cre-wait what.

Turns out, vanilla really hates being ignored. And seeing Cake take every flavor but vanilla took the cake. Heh, really bad pun. I hate myself...

"Oh God! What is that?!" Cake screamed, a giant wad of ice cream rolling its way towards him.

**The fucking end.**


End file.
